


ALTER EGO

by 13ineedpills13



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Gen, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:02:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23494996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13ineedpills13/pseuds/13ineedpills13
Summary: DISCONTINUED FOR NOW.A regular civil servant, Lucifer, wakes up in a weird place one day.A lowly lit, dark hallway with a many doors that lead to a single room, and a person with the nickname Es.As a weird being called EGO REX shows him what to do, and tells him that he will be discovering himself in this place, Lucifer will try to get to know both of them and write down his own path on this place.---Inspired by the self-disovery clicker game called ALTER EGO.One of the main characters reminded me of Barbatos way too much, and the damn ao3 didn't allow me to tag the relationship as Lucifer/Barbatos for some reason.Oh wellP.S: All the other characters besides Lucifer and Barbatos are mentioned, and have no serious impact on the story. They are all human.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Writing a game au is pretty hard :> let's see where this thing goes.

Lucifer woke up in a long, seemingly endless hallway. 

The hallway was pretty dark and empty. There wasn't even doors, or windows around. As he tried to get up from the cold, black and hard floor, he felt a huge wave of awareness in his veins. He wasn't panicking, but he wasn't calm either.

He got up, dusted off his clothes and began walking around, to understand what this place was. 

He stopped and took a few steps back when 2 walls, with half-faces carved into them merged out from the walls of the hallway and pressed agganist each other, forming a full face. Though this face was not symmetrical at all. The face didn't have pupils and it's mouth was closed, overall, it seemed lifeless.

Lucifer was startled by the wall. It looked... scary, to say the least. He stared at the wall, annoyed that it was blocking his way.

"I've been waiting for you-" The half-wall on the left spoke.  
"-my lost child." The other one said.

"I am Ego Rex."  
"I administer the rules."

"Nice to meet you, Ego Rex." Lucifer tried to speak, but his lips refused to move and his own voice rang inside his head. Panicked, he looked around, and then himself, to figure out why he couldn't speak. Ego Rex continued talking, as if he read his mind and figured out all the questions inside Lucifer's head. 

"What you will find-"  
"-here with me..."  
"...is you,"  
"yourself."  
"Allow me to teach you,"  
"...the ways of this place."

Lucifer was confused.  
He had no idea what was happening. He patted his body to find his phone, but it was nowhere to be found. He tried to remember what he was doing before all this happened. He woke up, ate breakfast, went to work, and before he knew it, he was at his house, sleeping on the couch. He didn't ate dinner that night... Then he woke up there. Was he kidnapped in the middle of the night? Well, he didn't remember that part.

But for now, this Ego thing didn't seem like he wanted to harm him.  
He had no choice but to follow his directions.

"Shed your daily life." Ego Rex said.  
"Here, you shall contemplate."

Lucifer began walking and gradually, he found a template with the words "What am I?" carved into it. "Good question." Lucifer thought. "What am I? I guess this is what Ego Rex meant by finding myself."

"Tap on the whispers."  
"Collect your EGO." The voice said.

"EGO is the currency in here?" Lucifer asked, realizing he can talk now, but got no response. He sighed, and lightly tapped on the "whisper", having no choice. The "whisper" began fading away, leaving a weird feeling inside Lucifer. This was how collecting "EGO" felt like? 

He tapped on a few more whispers, the feeling getting more stronger each time {though it was still tiny, it didn't bother Lucifer,} before finding a backpack filled with various books inside of it.

"Use your EGO."  
"Try reading No Longer Human." The voices said 

Lucifer looked around in the bag and found a book titled "No Longer Human." by Osamu Dazai. He recognized the author, he'd made a few essays on his books in his first year at collage. The moment he touched the boom and opened it, he felt the weird feeling inside his chest dissappear. Did this meant... He spent all of his EGO? He was genuinely confused, and annoyed at the same time. He had a presentation tomorrow! And he had to deal with this bullshittery?

"Though, doing reading never hurt anyone..." Lucifer smiled when he thought about one of his little brothers, and read the back cover of it. He never read this one before, so he was curious what it was about. 

"The fallen buffoon.

A novella by Osamu Dazai, featuring a guilt-ridden and self-conscious protagonist eventually lead to ruin by his afflictions.  
A month later after it's completion, Dazai commited suicide, drowning himself in Tamagawa Aqueduct."

"Well, isn't that such a wholesome fate." Lucifer thought and smiled at the irony, and began reading the book as he continued to tap on the "whispers".

"Time is upon you."  
"Go to Es." the voice said, before leaving him completely alone.

"Es? Who's that?" Lucifer thought. He didn't know how much he walked for...

"This is kind of like those video games Levi loves... Hm?"  
Before he noticed it, he passed by a small door with words "Es" and a weird smiling face drawing on it. It was honestly a terrible drawing... Hope filled Lucifer's mind as he thought about the possibility of someone *other than him* being there, and he reached to the door handle. He opened it slowly.

He met... with a rather handsome man. The man had dark green hair that turned into a teal colour at the longer bangs on the left of his face, and fair, white skin. His dark green eyes that matched his hair with a tint of pistachio green, were glued on the book he was reading, not noticing Lucifer as he stepped inside. However, sensing an unfamiliar presence inside the room, he lifted his head up and looked at Lucifer. "...Why, hello there. Look who showed up, I grew tired of waiting."

"That's not a good way to welcome someone in now, don't you think?" Lucifer said. "May I come in?"

"You're already here. Close the door behind you please." 

Lucifer did as he was told and sat down on the couch in front of this... mysterious man, who he assumed was Es.

"Sorry, but I'll get right into the point." The man said, putting the book aside. "I have 12 questions for you. Don't think too hard, just answer honestly."

"Is this a personality test? I'm sorry, but I refuse to take it before someone explains what exactly is happening."

"I will, once you decide to cooperate. Though the description of this place doesn't matter." The man said, expressionless. "Shall we begin?"

Lucifer looked at him skeptically. 

"...Sure."


	2. Self-Discovery Begins

"Remember," The man said. "Be honest with your answers, and don't think too much. Relax."

Lucifer nodded slightly and took a deep breath, relaxing on the couch as the man began asking his questions. "Do you tend not to get emotional?" The man asked, taking out a small notepad and a pen in his gloved hands. 

"Do I tend not to get emotional..." Lucifer mumbled and closed his eyes. This test wouldn't be so accurate if he lied, yes? For now, he could put his pride aside.

"No... I get emotional quite easily actually."  
And that wasn't a lie.  
He couldn't count the nights he spent in his bed, thinking about his future and wishing to live the past once more. He couldn't forget the days when his youngest sibling, his only sister, the joy of the family, passed away. He couldn't think straight for a few weeks after he saw a dead cat on the street.  
He got emotional quite easily.  
He just didn't show it.

"Do you put up a front for others?" He said and wrote Lucifer's answers down, one by one. 

"Sometimes." Lucifer said, sounding unsure. Did he put on a façade in front of his family in times of need? Trouble? It... It was his duty as the eldest to take care of them, right? Naturally, with that responsibility, came great pressure. 

"So that's a yes?" The man eyed him suspiciously.

"Yes." Lucifer finally said, squirming in his seat.

"Hm-hm... So, are you easily influenced by others?"

"Neither..." He paused. "That is an option, right?"

"Yes, it is... Are your tastes easy to discern?"

"No." Lucifer immedietly said, getting a small, barely visible smile from the man.

"Calm down." He said and flipped the page of his notepad. "Do you get jealous easily?"

Lucifer thought about this question for a while. He... Would he be jealous? For his loved one? Or simply because someone is in a better place than him? Would he be bothered by that? He wasn't a child like his brothers, but a doubt was still in his mind. "I... am not sure."

"There is no problem in that... Do tough situations make you work even harder?"

"Yes."

"Are you often irritated by uncertainty?"

"...Yes. I hate it."

"Quite the strong word you used there." The man said, Lucifer was unsure if it was a compliment or not. "Are you unhindered by fear?"

"This... is a hard question. May I think for a while?" He asked and looked down, getting a small "Yes." From the man.

A few minutes passed before Lucifer gave his answer. "I am still a human. Even though my name says the exact opposite... I am still one. Fear does control me sometimes, so no. I am not unhindered by fear.

"What is your name, if you don't mind me asking?" 

"..." Did Lucifer really want to give his name to a stranger?  
Oh well, he is talking about very personal things with that stranger now, might as well give his name to him too. "It's Lucifer. And how may I call you?"

"Es is fine." The man said, obviously wanting to hide his real name.

"No. Your real name." Lucifer said and crossed his arms. "...It looks like I'm stuck here for a while. I believe I should at least know your name."

"Ugh..." The man gave out a sound od frustration. "It's Barbatos. Now that you have your answer, we should continue."

"Of course." Lucifer said and smiled smugly, happy with his small victory.

"Do you prefer things to be black and white?"

"Yes."

"Are you often deceived?"

"...No."  
Barbatos looked at him suspiciously, again.  
.  
.  
.  
What? Lucifer COULDN'T answer honestly to that.

"Do you like to be the center of attention?"

"Kind of..." Lucifer said, a little embarrassed.

"No need to be like that. This is just a quiz, and I told you to be honest." He said and continued. "Do you ignore those you dislike?"

"No." Lucifer said, surprisingly. "I can't."

"Hm... Intresting..." The man said, and re-read all of his notes before flipping the pages of a book for a while and thinking to himself. Lucifer didn't said a word, not wanting to interrupt him. "...Your defense mechanism is... Manic Defense."

"And what does that mean...?"

"You take an aggressive, dominant stance to hide your own weaknesses." 

Lucifer felt a little insulted at that, but hey, it was the truth.

"...It would seem you prefer devaluing your opponents with domination, scorn and a superiority complex as a weapon. You can't just use anxiety as an excuse to do whatever you want you know... It might also be said that he change between your manic state when you're around others and your depression in private are in a drastic juxtaposition."

Lucifer nodded and said nothing. How... Just how did this man figure all these out, simply by asking him a few questions? And he did it so accurately too. What was his nature, origin? Lucifer didn't even know these were true until he heard it from someone else.  
He felt small, tumbtack-like things wounding his heart at each word that came out of his mouth and cringed at himself.

"Well, did that clear things up?" Barbatos sighed and closed his eyes. "I hope it did so."

"...ᵧₑₛ, ₜₕₐₙₖₛ..." Lucifer said, yes, in that exact font, and got up, feeling awkward. He took the test and got his result, so why was he hanging around there longer? He stopped in his tracks when Barbatos spoke.

"You don't know much at all, do you?" Barbatos said and opened his eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"You've heard me. About about this place, or who you are... You don't knoe much at all."

"...You are right. I have no idea what is going on." 'And I'm freaking out on the inside.' Lucifer thought.

"No matter. We've only just begun... You may leave. Come visit me again when you have more EGO with you, okay?"

"Of course." Lucifer sighed and walked towards the door. "That EGO thing still confuses me. Is it money? Are you a therapist? So many unanswered questions..."

\---

"Well met..."  
"My lost child."  
The walls spoke to him after he took a few more steps.

Lucifer found himself unable to speak, yet again. '...Please give me a warning before showing up. You almost crushed me.'

The voices didn't say anything back. It was as if they couldn't hear him.  
Well, technically, they shouldn't be able to.

"One final thing..." The wall on the left said.  
"A warning." The one on the right said.  
"Maintain your guard with Es."  
"Maintain your guard with Es."

And they dissappeared, once again.

"...What does that even mean?" Lucifer said aggressively. "He seems normal!"

Getting no answer, he continued to walk with the backback on his shoulder. With his No Longer Human book, open in his hands, he continued to read it. He didn't know how much time had passed, again. That was the beauty of reading books. It's like time and space doesn't exist in there, you can do whatever you want while observing the characters...  
The book was 271 pages long, it wasn't that long. Lucifer could read this in 2 hours or less. 

So, he decided to finish the book today and mind where he would be sleeping later. Or eating. He could ask help from Es- Barbatos for that.

He sat down on the corner of the room and began reading.

\----

"...Why is everything have to be so depressing in here? I thought we had Levi and the twins to cover that job." He said and put the book down. He finally finished reading the book. It was a weird exprience to read it.  
That's all he was going to say.

"Well now what?" He said and looked through the books once again, and noticed something he didn't before. 

The books' spines had one, small butterfly on each of them. One of the butterflies was glowing in a pale blue light. He looked at the book and realized the the tight feeling on his chest seemed to be getting stronger now. He pulled it out. 

The book had the title "Demian" with a small child on the cover. 

"...I've read this one before. Maybe I'll read it again..." He said and opened the book with ease. "What was it about again?" He said, and turned the book. His voice was echoing in the hallway.  
He made small habit of speaking to himself to not feel too lonely around here.  
Was he getting crazy or something?

"To break one's shell.  
A novel by Herman Hesse in which protagonist Emil Sinclair, motivated by his mysterious friend Max Demian and his mother, engages in self discovery.  
This novel stems from Hesse's introduction to philosophy of Carl Jung."

"If it weren't for the last sentence, Asmo would've thought this was porn." Lucifer shook his head in disgust and opened the book, as the tight feeling dissappeared again.  
Just for the sake of trying, he tried to open another book. The butterfly on this one wasn't gloving, and it refused to open.  
He tried to pry the book open, but it wasn't working.

"I see." He thought. "I am storing this EGO thing inside of me, and whenever I open the door to Es' room, or open one of the books with the glowing butterfly, I spend the EGO. Cool. Definetly doesn't sound like a terrible explanation of a mobile game..." 

He really didn't care about his work tomorrow at this point. Everything came onto him like 3 tons of bricks and he had no idea how to cope with it. Creepy, god-like talking walls with faces, templates with weird questions and sentences like "I'm different, not like the rest." , "What am I?" , "Mine has been a life such of shame." , "I have always been a seeker.", a weird, philosophical and sarcastic looking but pretty man as his therapist, this whole EGO thing... The whole thing felt like a fever dream.

Nevertheless, he was determined to figure this place out and escape at his first chance. He couldn't help but whine though, he just wanted a normal life.


	3. Nameless Place-Know Your Audience

During his time there, Lucifer didn't feel anything.

Not in the depressive way, physically, he was unable to feel hunger or tiredness for some reason. He could still sleep and eat, but he didn't feel the need to. Besides, there was nothing to eat in here. Not a fridge or anything. For now, he only craved the slight sour taste of canned beer in his fridge.

He opened the door again, and found Barbatos, gazing at his books on the shelves 

"I've seen you've been collecting ego, just as you were told."

"There is nothing else to do in here. I don't have a choice." 

"Sorry, we couldn't put a clown in here to entertain you." He says and notes something on one of his books on his table, closing it afterwards.

"Save your sarcasm to yourself, please."

"Whatever. At least you're collecting it... How earnest you are. I quite like it. I suppose you've earned a reward."

"Do I get to get out of here?" Lucifer says, making himself comfortable on the couch.

"Not yet. We're still at the beggining." Lucifer lets out a breathy laugh at that, muttering "of course" under his breath. Barbatos (Es? Looks like his name is going to change from time to time) pays no mind to him. "But I can answer one of your important questions... You're curious as to where we are, aren't you?"

Lucifer looked at him and nodded. 

"We're... How do I put this? This place is closed off from the outside world. So, it doesn't need a name... To me, that's all there is to it."

"I still have no idea where we are, but thank you for at least trying go give me a good response." Lucifer says and leans back on the couch a bit more. When did he get so used to in here? Well, maybe it's because the couch is too damn comfortable and soft.

"If you are going to be like this the entire time, I won't hesitate to erase you from this world entirely." Es says and glares at him. "I won't tolerate disrespect in my own room."

"Okay. Fine, I'm sorry...." Lucifer was lowkey scared of him. So... He didn't want to take any risks. If they were able to get him to random place that is closed off from the outside world completely, without waking him up, fucking god knows what else they might do.

"Apology accepted." He says and goes back to the conversation at hand. "Still, I'm curious. How do you perceive this place? A place to discover who you are? A place to gain control over yourself?"

"A place to discover who I've always been." Lucifer says without waiting. He had thought about this during one of his strolls in the endless hallway. Sitting around in a place like that for hours did some strange things to him...

"A philosophical answer. Not bad." Barbatos says and sighs. "The identity of this place is of little importance. You... are here. Now."

"You're right." He nods. "...But I still get worried about what's going to happen. How is my family? Did they noticed I'm gone yet? How about my work? What time even is it?"

"Whether you will it or not, something lies up ahead." He says. "There will always be worries like these in your life... Perhaps that is exactly why you seek reasons." Lucifer didn't say anything at that.

"You... and I. Both... Come back when you've saved up more EGO." He says and goes back and puts his hand over his chin. "I will talk to you later."

"Aren't you going to do that personality test again?"

"Oh, that? I won't do it everytime you come over here. A simple chat sometimes is required to relax and... It will help me to get to know you."

"Hm." Lucifer says and gets up. "Well then. Talk to you later."

He closes the door again and lets out the breath he didn't know he was holding.   
Talking to him made him nervous all the time. 

"Oh well. There is nothing I can do... He is the only sensible person in here."

\---

It wasn't long before Lucifer found himself in that room again. He hadn't seen EGO REX in a while, which was both concerning and relaxing at the same time. Being lonely in a room full of "whispers" was disgusting and frustrating, also scary. Lately, if he listened to closely enough, he could hear actual whispers coming from the templates. The whispers had quotes from the books he was reading... Did he gone mad already? Well, he especially liked the quote "Inconsolable, I walked across the empty square with my hands in my pockets. Further torments and slavery." for some reason. Maybe he saw himself in there, who knows?

Whatever. The important thing is, he needed someone to talk to. Even if it's nust gibberish, he needed it.   
That's why he binge collected 3 days worth of EGO in a few hours by reading the book under his hand and wondering inside the hallway, and was not sitting inside that room.

"Welcome back." Barbatos greets him. "Have a seat."

He start speaking after Lucifer sat on the sofa. 

"You seem tense. What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure. There are many things but... Whatever."

"I'm all ears if you want to talk about it... But not now. I have a small question for you, well, 4 actually. And you need a calm mind to answer it."

Lucifer takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. "...Okay. I'm fine."

"Great... Now, there are all sorts of books in here. There is even one that ends differently everytime you read it."

"Oh? I haven't seen one of those in ages, ever since my youngest brother graduated from grade-school... Is it like a picture book?"

"Yes, it's a picture book. Here, I'll show you." Barbatos says and pulls out a rather colourful book with cute, cartoon-ish designs on it. The book is written in a language Lucifer can't understand.

"Your enterpretation of the story is very much of intrest to me."

"Why so?"

"Isn't that obvious? You are the only wanderer in here at the moment... The characters are comprised of a prince, a king, and a maid." He says and opens up the picture book. The first page has the main characters in it. The king seems distressed, the prince has one hand over his eyes, and the maid is looking at them behind a door.

"Your interpretation of the story will decide what kind of story this is, as I implied before. So I'll ask you a few questions, okay?"

"Okay." Lucifer says, suddenly intrested in the book. "Chose the closest answer you take on it. Now, let me hear your story... What is the prince doing?" 

Lucifer stares at the prince in the book for a while. Several possibilities flew inside his mind. Maybe the child just woke up? Maybe he was pretending to cry because of something the maid said to him?

"...Crying because the king got mad at him." Lucifer says, thinking of the most possible situation. 

"How does the king feel about this?" Barbatos says, writing the answer on a piece of paper with his other hand as he held the book on his right (maybe left? Lucifer was too focused ro tell) hand.

"He contemplating how to discipline the prince." Again, going with the realistic answer.

"Why is the maid hiding?" Barbatos says pointing one of his fingers to the maid.

"She seems really... what's the word... shady." Lucifer says, getting a small laugh from Barbatos.

"She is hiding to watch over the prince from the shadows. She is unable to do anything."

"And how does the story end?" He says and scribbles down the answer again. 

"...The prince elopes with the maid." Lucifer says, after much hesitation.

Barbatos turns the other page, and reveals a picture of the prince, holding the maid's hand and escaping from the castle. The page said; "Fleeing from the castle, the prince and maid follow their hearts and elope."

A silence fills the room. Lucifer felt like... he got the correct ending for some reason. Even though there are countless other endings. This was the correct, and most realistic one in his eyes. Also the most morally corect one. 

"...So, that's how your story goes." Barbatos says and puts the book aside.

"Reading felt like a fever dream."

"Isn't the whole situation feels like a fever dream to you?" He says and entertwines his gloved hands. 

Lucifer chuckles. "I suppose so..."

"...There are some truths of reality one can find only in fiction, you know." Barbatos says and looks over at his notes. "...Next time, I want you to let me interpret your story."

"Of course." Lucifer says. "So, what is my result, my dear therapist?"

"Talking to me feels like therapy?"

"I wouldn't say so, but my sister used to be a therapist..." He says and sighs deeply. "...You share some similar traits to her."

"Hm." Barnatos simply hums. "Your hidden motif is; Selfish Impulses.  
You tend to act on impulse and throw common sense and set standards to the wind. You long for nothing more than to cast off the yoke and run free.  
The idea of relying on others is nigh on unthinkable for you, as it is your firm principle do decide everything for yourself, bordering on overconfidence on occasion."

He looks at Barbatos, feeling awkward.  
He was kind of right.  
Again.

"By all means, live for yourself. It is an admirable goal..." Barbados shots a look at him. "But be prepared to turn around and find yourself alone."

Lucifer felt his heart drop a bit after those words. 

Barbatos exhales and throws his head back a bit, as if he is tired. "...See, if something changes in your world view, the ending will change. That goes for this place too, not just the story I've just read to you."

"I know that."

"But you still believe in fate, and blame the bad things that have happened to you on it." He says a bit sharply. The thing Lucifer hated about expressionless people is that he could never tell of they were serious, angry, or happy.

"That is a part of human nature. We are two-faced beings and cat let go of the things we were thought from an early age that easily." Lucifer defends himself.

"Is you pride not letting you admit that you are mistaken?" Turning to look at him, he asks. "I am very right about my conclusion then."

Lucifer gritted his teeth. He was never fond of his mistakes and flaws being pointed out, including his pride. He had to be perfect, all the time. Or he would be punished for it.

"...I'm sorry for snapping like that." Barbatos says and straightens himself on the chair, and clears his throat. "It wasn't very tasteful of me."

"..." Lucifer didn't say anything, just turned his head away. He wasn't going to apologize, yes.

"As I was saying... The future will be decided by your interpretation... By your will. So, hurry back when you have more EGO. Then, we can talk more... frequently. Once you've calmed yourself down, that is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, i downloaded this game again just to write this story, and yes, its takin up too much space in my phone


End file.
